If you’re like me, you visit Yelp when you want to try a new sushi restaurant or connect with a new psychic. You rely on fellow yelpers to lead you to your new favorite gyro place and to warn you about trying the questionable Mexican food restaurant downtown. Many customers create reports on social networking sites like Yelp based on their experiences, rather than simply posting their sentiments in a Facebook status or sending a detailed tweet. Yelp has become one of the top social community sites because of the growing number of active contributors. These critics are usually helpful, but there are some reviewers that should be banned from Yelp altogether. This list is dedicated to those Yelpers who just need to back away from their keyboards, mid-meal, and find a healthier way to vent.
1. The Comedian |
This is the Yelper that might sound like they are auditioning to be a stand-up comic. Every comment they make is a joke. They want their reviews to make someone laugh. Some are pretty funny, but most just sound cheesy.
2. The Diva |
There is no satisfying this person. Everything makes them upset. The décor is horrible, there weren’t enough options on the menu, and the waitress was too nice! Never expect a diva to give you more than one or two stars.
3. The Over-Sharer |
This happens so often on Yelp and it should be stopped! Unless you are unusually interested in the human digestive system, then, you too, hate the over-sharer. This is the Yelper who decides to tell us what happened after they decided to try the atomic tacos. This could be said about a lot of people on social media. T.M.I should be banned in the unwritten rules of how to social network. Yelpers want to be informed but there are limits people!
4. The Atmosphere Judge |
We all know there are many things that a business cannot control. This would be things like a crying baby in the restaurant or a teenager texting during a movie. This reviewer simply chooses to point these uncontrollable factors out in their comments. The poor business gets a 2 star rating because of things they simply can’t avoid.
5. The First-Timer |
This is a category dedicated to the reviewer that opens an account just to write about the experience. They insist that the experience was so special that it was worth opening an account. Either the person had such a fantastic experience they had to motivate others to join in or they were so appalled they had to create a personal warning.
6. The Novelist |
This is the review that never ends! Whether the experience was pleasant or horrifying, this reviewer will write in specific detail how their night went. They tell you why they decided to go out that night, the drive to the restaurant, the chill in the air, the valet’s stain on his shirt, the friend they ran into walking in the parking lot, etc. The only thing this writer will never explain is the quality of the food.
7. The Contradictor |
This reviewer likes to play devil’s advocate. They find a place that was given five stars and insist that it was horrible. Or, they find a one star review and call everyone crazy for diminishing the integrity of the fine establishment.
8. The Hipster |
This reviewer probably visited this place before it was listed on Yelp. The hipster will complain about how mainstream and popular the place has become. He will reminisce about the better days when the place was a quiet little dive that he stumbled upon while riding his bike downtown. He will give it two stars for how cool it used to be.
9. The Mommy |
The mommy thinks every restaurant should be kid friendly. She will love all the children themed restaurants, but will complain about any restaurant that did not provide a coloring sheet and crayons for her child. She will also dock points for restaurants that were not child proof and provided an unsafe atmosphere for her four year old. Good luck to restaurants with sharp edged tables!
10. The Unexplainable |
Last, but definitely not least, is my favorite Yelper. This is the reviewer who gives a review that is one of a kind. These are the odd, quirky, and just plain weird reviews that you just don’t understand. They are, in fact, the most entertaining of all the Yelp reviews. A reader may wonder if the content is just made up, or if the internet is just full of weirdoes. Both can be assumed to be true.
Whether you log into Yelp with good intentions, or you decide to post a scathing criticism, remember that people actually read these reviews. Your harsh words about the peeling wallpaper, or the waiter with a cut on his chin could affect a fellow Yelper, or a hardworking small business owner. So review with caution and consider this information as advice for the next time you decide to post your opinion on Yelp.
By Alicia Duran | Creatine Marketing